by Janine Quijije

It’s true, I am scared of heights. So why did I jump out of a plane? Something about skydiving felt metaphoric to me. Often times we avoid challenging ourselves because it can be scary to be vulnerable by pushing past our comfort zone and risk failure.  

Prior to my jump, I was scared. I was scared when they strapped on the harness, scared during that 15 minute plane ride and definitely scared when my tandem master told me it was time to jump. I am not a thrill seeker at all so the decision to skydive was very out of character for me. I was pretty vocal about telling everyone who would listen that I was scared. I guess I was still trying to convince myself this was a bad idea. 

As I waited for my name to be called, I met an 89-year old grandmother who was jumping for the second time. In the most peaceful and kind voice, she said to me, “You are not alone. Your tandem master is there to make sure you are safe. Just enjoy the experience.” 

I also told my tandem master at least a dozen times during our 30 minutes together that I was scared. His responses  during different instances were reassuring. He told me everyone gets scared. I felt comforted knowing that I wasn’t alone. 

After I actually jumped and while gliding in the air, it was one of the most beautiful and meaningful experiences of my life. It would have been so unfortunate to miss out on such an experience due to my fears. What this experience taught me is that it’s ok to be scared. Being scared is a natural and human emotion. 

Why am I sharing all this? Something about this experience really connected for me with our work at Mouse. 

During the past year, I spoke with hundreds of high school students at Career Days throughout New York City. What I heard and sensed most from the young people I met is that same fear I felt. Fear of not scoring well on their regents exams or SATs. Fear of not getting into a good college. Fear of disappointing their parents. Fear of not knowing what they want to be when they grow up. Simply put, they are scared of failing. Not only are they scared of failing, but they are scared of asking for help for fear of being judged for not being good enough.

One of the values we embrace at Mouse is that of failing forward. Failure is part of the design process.  While my jump was literal, I appreciate my colleagues who encourage our students to jump out their own personal planes every day. We do this by developing ways to engage them to realize their full potential. We expose them to mentors who encourage them along the way and remind them that they are not alone. 

I recall an instance where I took the train with a Mouse alum. In my role, I don’t directly interact with our students and was therefore delighted at the opportunity to speak with a past participant. During our train ride, I asked this young man about his experiences with Mouse. His voice was filled with gratitude. He never imagined himself capable of being accepted into one of the best design schools in the country. He didn’t imagine this as a possibility for himself. He feared not being good enough and was therefore prepared to compromise his full potential by not taking the steps necessary to develop his design skills. He credits his mentors at Mouse for helping him see himself as a designer and encouraging him in taking the steps necessary to apply to and attend his dream college. As a result, he will be entering his second year at Parsons School of Design in the fall. 

As the Senior Director of Development at Mouse, I am trusted to make a lot of important decisions on a regular basis that impact my colleagues and youth we serve at a local and national level. I am scared more often than not. However, as I learned during my jump, I am not alone. I have a team of colleagues who I trust and can count on. They have my back as much as I have theirs. We all genuinely care about the work that we do and the young people and educators we serve. 

Even as adults, we still lean on our network for support as we tackle challenges in our professional and personal lives. We have our friends, colleagues, families, and mentors. I am most inspired by how our work empowers our youth and opens their awareness to the possibilities of their future

Janine Quijije is Senior Director of Development at Mouse